"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
~James 1:27

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Number 15

Meet Alexandra. Number 15.

 I wasn’t planning on having a number 15.
 When I lost Betty back in June, I couldn’t sponsor another child. None of the children where Betty, so I just held off on sponsoring another one. I knew that if God wanted me to sponsor another child He would point him or her out to me. But month after month went by and I never found her. I figured it was for the best that I only had 14 children. That that was what God wanted, and it’s easier to write and provide for 14 rather than 15.
 And then I saw Alexandra. Her darling face, her bare feet, and her ragged, worn clothes captivated me. And then I read that she had 12 siblings and her father worked as a farmer making about $10 a month. $10 a month! That is less than $1 per child each month. You can’t provide for a family that big on such a small amount of money. And with the parents in survival mode, how can they show the love and care to Alexandra that she needs.
 Her reflective brown eyes stared into mine, and I knew. I knew, but I didn’t want to admit it. Something inside of me didn’t want to sponsor another child, didn’t want to give up another $38 a month. I already give up so much for my children, why should I have to give up even more. Why would God ask me to sponsor another child when I don’t even have a permanent job? But another part of me was absolutely, completely head-over-heels in love with this child. I had to have this child in my life. But what if I couldn’t keep up the payments? What if, what if, what if? Back and forth, I went in my mind.
 Really it all came down to faith. Could I truly trust God to provide the money to sponsor Alexandra?
 Then one day she was gone. Alexandra (along with 90% of the Ecuador kids) was nowhere to be found on the website. That moment sealed it for me. My heart sank to my knees as if a piece of my heart was gone forever. Alexandra, the little girl who needed me so much, was gone. I had let her go, when deep down I knew God wanted me to sponsor her. But God brought her back to me. He wasn’t going to let me get away without her.
For some reason I may never know, God wants Alexandra, a 6 year old little girl living in the jungle of Ecuador, in my life. I may never know in this lifetime why God wanted me to sponsor her, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t. I can’t take my extra $38 a month to Heaven with me, but maybe because I sponsored her, Alexandra will be in Heaven.
 When I saw those beautiful brown eyes back on the website it suddenly became clear. If God was asking me to sponsor Alexandra, than He would provide enough money each month. God has a plan, and I’m learning to trust Him more and more with every circumstance. Alexandra is my faith child. And it is amazing what a deep love can well up in one’s heart for a child you’ve never met, never seen their smile, and never heard their laugh. It has to be God! What else could it possibly be? And you know what; I’ll probably be blessed so much more than Alexandra is because I stepped out in faith for her. I can try to be a blessing in her life, but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that she WILL be a blessing in my life!
I urge you to a look at Compassion International’s website today. Maybe you’ll find a piece of your heart there or your next step of faith. I know I did.


  1. "I can’t take my extra $38 a month to Heaven with me, but maybe because I sponsored her, Alexandra will be in Heaven." Wow. Those are pretty convincing words, thanks for the reminder! :)

  2. Hi Hilary - I'm compiling a "master list" of Compassion bloggers for my blog Compassion Family. I would love to include yours. Could you possibly write a 2-5 sentence description of your blog? You can submit it here - http://compassionfamily.blogspot.com/2011/12/calling-all-compassion-bloggers.html