I know I’m not strong enough
To be everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Those lyrics have been running through my head over and over again today. I finally feel like some plans for the next step in my life are coming together. I can finally feel some direction from God. And I’m excited. Wicked excited, but scared at the same time. I know that I’m not strong enough to do it alone. I’m probably not even strong enough to do it with 5 of my best friends. So I’m giving up.
No, I’m not giving up on all my dreams and my passions and the exciting things that God has for my future. I would never give up on that. I couldn’t give up on that. What I’m giving up on is trying to do it myself. I am giving up on trying to achieve my dreams by myself. I am giving up control.
I don’t know about you, but I like to be in control of things. When I am the one in control I feel like things will turn out better. I never liked group projects. I didn’t like letting someone else do something that I was going to get a grade on. I wasn’t in control of how much time, effort, or enthusiasm that person would put into their part of the project. It was stressful giving up control when I felt like I could do it better myself.
I think that is my problem when it comes to giving up control to God. It is pride. I may not say this out loud or really even think it in my head, but I act like I could do it better myself. That is ultimately what we are saying to God when we try to take control of our life instead of letting God in the driver’s seat.
But from now on, I’m giving up. It’s easier said than done, and I know that it will be a daily struggle to give up control to God. But I have to. My life will never go anywhere if I try to control it myself. And truly I’m not strong enough to be in control of my life when God has such amazing, BIG plans for my life. I would just mess them up if I tried to do it alone. So I’m giving up!